Finished!     

     Recently I have learned that I shouldn't make my decisions based on past events; this was not always the case. I had been in a state of mind where I couldn't really trust people too often. When people cancelled plans with me at the last minute, I always felt that they had found something better to do with their time. Sometimes I even had trouble believing that my friends really were my true friends.

     This all started back in middle school when a little situation occured between me and three other friends; two were girls and the other was a boy. So Curly and I were best friends; we had been for two years. This year I had finally gotten into our school play and had started becoming closer friends with Blondie and The Boy. Eventually I developed a crush on The Boy and told Curly about it because I told her everything. I thought I could trust her to keep it a secret but I shouldn't have because she ended up telling The Boy all about it. He approached me one night after play practice and told me that he just wanted to be friends and that he really liked Curly.

     Now at first, Curly claimed she didn't like The Boy but eventually things got out of control and soon she was hanging out with him all the time and completely ignored me. Blondie is also really good friends with Curly but at this point she started telling me things about Curly that she shouldn't have. I couldn't believe the things she told me such as Curly telling The Boy that I stalked him outside his house and knew which room was his. This was obviously untrue. The Boy was beginning to get very awkward around me and I began to wonder if Curly actually lied to him like that. From this point on, I was very hesitant to trust anyone ever again - no matter how much I cared for the person.

     Now that I am a senior in high school, I have lost touch with all of these so called "friends". Some for the better (Curly and Blondie) and some for the worse (The Boy). This whole conflict turned my thoughts around and now my not being able to trust people is affecting my current relationships. I have been trying to get together with a boy I like now, Debater, but whenever I ask him, he's always busy. Because of past experiences, I have problems believing that he actually is busy and tend to think that he has something better to do.

     Just recently, Debater finally made an attempt to ask me out himself and we eventually had our first official date. I realized that my life shouldn't revole around past experiences - especially young drama from middle school. I need to listen to my heart, not my head.